Listening: the Key Interpersonal Skill of Leadership

I have been intentionally studying leadership for almost 50 years. Early on, I was fortunate enough to take a course from Xerox Learning Systems (XLS), who at the time excelled in the area of interpersonal influence (think ‘sales’ and you have their corporate key success factor!). This course taught me active listening, constructive criticism, managing differences, building (i.e., recognizing the input of others when strengthening ideas) and praising. As I look back, I cannot imagine better building blocks for a leader than these five interpersonal skills.

I continued my studies and my career as a trainer and I looked to use the XLS course … but discovered to my dismay that they and it were no more. So I kept looking … and found Leader Effectiveness Training (LET), offered by Gordon Training International. The three key skill components of their program were: active listening, sending “I” messages and conflict resolution … a similar set of building blocks.

I have been endorsing the use of LET ever since, primarily because of my belief in the importance of active listening as the foundational interpersonal skill for a leader. As you look at the Kouzes and Posner five leadership practices, imagine trying to develop them without understanding what your stakeholders are saying and doing and why it is important to them, or without showing them you understand?

You can probably accomplish some good work on yourself (Modeling The Way: clarifying your values, finding your voice) without being an outstanding listener, but have a go at Inspiring a Shared Vision, Challenging the Process, Enabling Others to Act and Encouraging the Heart without this skill? Very tough challenge! And I will argue that you even need excellent listening skills to find out about how others anchor their deepest beliefs and learn how to draw on them in difficult times, so I believe you need to be a good listener to learn how to Model the Way too!

So … my advice here for you on your leadership journey is to stop at the first crossroads where you realize that listening and leadership intersect, and spend long enough there to ‘get it’. I am saying that this particular crossroads is best recognized early on in your journey, but the great thing about the leadership path is that it crosses and recrosses the listening path so often that you will get another chance to learn … and relearn … and you will never regret respecting those stops along the way.